You Have Recurrent Depression

w/o psychotic features
like potplants
that require watering

every day, or they will wither and die.

but not just any potplants
and not those kind

either, ones with wings and things
and thorns

and late at night
horns.

You have recurrent depression. This is not an admission
of guilt

This is just something that you go through
like a tunnel
let’s go through the tunnel

let’s turn out the lights
let’s look for the light at the end
let’s keep going

and if you need to turn around
do so in the middle

where you cannot see any light at all
to either side

and then water the potplants
in the dark

without any light 
without any water

without any hope.

You have recurrent depression.
Keep going

there was a memory of the light
that you held in your heart

like a flame
like a fire

like a wildflower in a wildfire
that you forgot to water

that withered and died
that reignited

a pyrotechnic display
a shadow in the middle of the tunnel

in the dark
you have kicked over the potplants

by mistake
and their dry soil has scattered across

the macadam
you are standing in the middle of your

life and there are headlights
coming

from both directions and you can’t find
the middle of the tunnel

or your life or the centre
lane

and the noise is silence just before you   
walk into the tunnel

without any hope of reaching out
or through

You have recurrent depression.
You have 1 New Voice Message.

You have deleted all the potplants.
You have stepped into the water.

You are feeling well watered and
incapable of withering.

You are heading deeper
into the tunnel

it is upside down in your mind
and there is hope

that you will somehow find your bearing
your posture

your image in a mirror
like this

hanging askew along the edges
tipped up and swimming

towards the light of the
sun. You have won.

You are being showered with blessings.
there are smiles in every photograph

you will be seen in camera flashes
the shiny glimmer behind policetape

do not cross into the tunnel
keep going

along the mountain pass
searching for water

carrying these goddamned potplants
all the way to the edge

they will thank you in the end
there was a drought

and it was a kindness there was kindness
in your heart once

of all things

you have recurrent depression  
you are currently the first caller

in the queue
you are not watching your reflection

in the rearview mirror
you are driving

there is a person in the middle of the tunnel
and his hands are raised

against the glare of your headlights
and he is smiling.

You have recurrent depression.
You take your eyes off the road.

The potplants on the passenger seat.
The windshield glass in your hair

under your collar on the leaves
of the geraniums

shiny like dew. You have
completed this level.

You are showered with blessings.
You receive a message from the queen

she misses you she loves you
she pulls the trigger.

You have one new afterlife
and brand new potplants

signed for and delivered and the weather report is sunny
without any chance of rain.

You will have to water them
every day again

or they will wither and die. 
Or you will wither and die.

You will wither and die;
You have recurrent depression

you are currently without water
in the middle of the desert

your potplants are your hands
as you raise their thorns

to your eyes